omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
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He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
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I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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