Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
