Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
