the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
