quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
