The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
