Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
