I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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