Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
