and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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