Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
