I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You took a bar mat shot.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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