It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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