I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
