I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
