Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm both gender and math confused
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
