Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
