Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
