how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
