I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
