Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
