i would punch a child for taco bell
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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