you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
