So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
