You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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