I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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