I wish my penis had an off switch
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
