So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
