Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
