Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
