you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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