Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
