Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
