everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
