yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I checked into jail on foursquare
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
