He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
