How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
