Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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