You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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