Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
