i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
