i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
