sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you traded sex for a burrito?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
