I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
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