2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
