I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
