There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
