I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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