You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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