At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize