Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize