after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
How naked do you want me to be?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
