it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
