Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
