we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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