She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
