All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
