don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Your penis caused this!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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