dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
