hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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