And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
