Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
