Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
