Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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